she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
