You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
