Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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