If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
