I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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