Non-Jews are for practice
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
