Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
