Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
