just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
