Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
