Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
