OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
