somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
