That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
