remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
