this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
