Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When did angry sex become our thing?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
