No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Text me some of your sweat
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