If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
