Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Randomize
