He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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