So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
