we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
