They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
