his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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