Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
