party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
