I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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