Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
