That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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