I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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