It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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