he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
