look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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