do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
