My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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