she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
