I just pynch a tree in the face
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
