Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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