1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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