when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
