the condom got lost in my hair
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
