My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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