So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His hands were made for my vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
