Im at strip club and am horny
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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