His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
