what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
