that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Terrible idea I love it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
