No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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