i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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