You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
